Rooty-Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity

First of all, congratulations IHOP. The 'Rooty-Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity' is without a doubt -- and I mean this in the least offensive way possible -- the gayest dish I've ever ordered. IHOP is pretty much your Average Joe breakfast joint... until, that is, you order the Rooty-Tooty and some six-stacker flapjack meal comes bouncing out of the kitchen by way of a well groomed, blue-eyed boy named Jayjay.

Yikes.

Needless to say, I set some boundaries with this Jayjay fellow (had to draw a line when he reached for the fork that fell in my lap), but actually enjoyed the meal. Enough said.

* * *

Yesterday was Universal Studios, today was Epcot (the huge golf ball in Disney World). Both were pretty sweet, I must say.

Highlights include:
- Simpsons Ride @ Universal. Maybe the best ride in the whole park -- it's a virtual simulation that takes place on a Krusty the Clown rollercoaster car. Most awesome part is when a giant radioactive Maggie Simpson takes the cart, sucks it like a soother, then spits you out again (slobber and all).
- Rose and Crown's English Pub
- Immaculate weather. The pool, the parks. It's perfect.

Lowlights (listen up, Florida):
- Long lineups. Of course, today was President's Day so an approx 2 hour wait for Soarin' in Epcot was expected.
- Timeshare Sharks. Because we're at a resort, there are always smooth talking salesmen lurking around with their slicked back hair, crooked teeth, and gold chains aplenty. Beware the Timeshare Sharks. And finally...
- Seagulls. Apparently they've taken over. You think I'm exaggerating/overreating, but I'm not! Ask anyone visiting Florida -- these birds are down right obnoxious in places. The pests have zero manners, flapping around in people's hair, squealing on the offbeats of every classic Disney song, and divebombing anyone whenever they feel like it. I even think the employees are scared of them. I saw one waiter drop a piece of toast and pause to look around before picking it up and darting through the kitchen doors. The poor guy peeked back through the window, up at a lamp post where a seagull was resting, and I SWEAR the bird shot him one of those "I'm watching you" movements with its right wingtip. Believe it or not.

On a brighter note, let's back up a bit. Yesterday I accomplished one of my goals!!!!! Which one, you ask? Wellllll...

#3: Try something I've never ever ever ever ever tried. And what did I do, exactly?

I ate crocodile tails.


[silence... *crickets*... silence]


Come on people, CROCODILE TAILS! Are you not impressed?? Well, it was new to me. Not too bad, either -- sorta tasteless, though. Oh well. Ripping apart crocodile tails with my bare teeth and downing it with dad's beer may juuust have been manly enough to offset any homosexual side-effects of the Rooty Tooty.

4 more goals to go!

Send some good luck (Cinderella will be mine!), and be sure to keep checking in. If I don't update again in three days, there's a good chance the gulls got me.