Stats Don't Lie

If you're reading this right now, you have already been exposed to this blog's new look and layout. Except, of course, it you happen to be blind. Are you blind? Trick question -- if you were blind, you couldn't read this in the first place and you would have just blown your cover by answering yes (I saw someone in New York once who pretended to be blind and beg for money -- when he failed to get anything from a group of tourists, he threw his cane on the sidewalk and dashed inside a strip club called The Dripping Lollipop). Note: If you are blind and happen to have some sort of braille computer screen or iPad (eyePad -- ha! made myself laugh), I apologize. I love all my viewers. All of them.

Wait. Are blind people still considered "viewers"?

Never mind.

Wordplay aside, I hope this new template turns your crank. I spent some time tweaking it yesterday and have to admit that I'm impressed with the new options available for bloggers these days. Five years ago, you only had like three looks to choose from -- now I can change just about anything. Among these changes you'll notice wider columns for easier reading, a new description on the right hand side, and fewer annoying ads. I HATE those ads. Bloggers get a few measly cents every time someone clicks one, which is why so many sites are overcrowded with pestilant Google links. I think these ads look desperate, cheap, and unprofessional. Content should be what counts, so I axed most of the side banners. That being said, I left a few on. I mean, let's be realistic. This isn't called Bohemian Businesskid for nothing.

So. Want to know something funny?

When I was changing up the design, I noticed a bunch of new options in the statistics section of Blogger's controls. I opened them up, curious to see who my reader base was, and discovered some interesting findings.

Obviously, most of my viewers are North American (about 55% Canadian, 35% American). But I also have 20 viewers in Hong Kong, 12 in Lithuania, 7 in the Netherlands, 4 in Croatia, and 1 in Argentina.

I'm surprised.

And flattered.

And curious about the one Argentinian. I mean thanks, but why don't you tell your other Argentinian friends about it? Come on, Arge. Help me out.

What's extra funny (and a little alarming) is that I can also see how people arrive here. For example, some Google search words that have led online travellers to this blog have been "Kyle Riabko", "Sean Hayes", and "Next to Normal". These make sense -- I've talked about them in my posts before. Meanwhile, other searches that have led people to this weird corner of the web include: "lasik eye surgery", "shroomy shrooms", and "bohemian milf".

I officially apologize to anyone who has ever come looking for important medical advice, psychedelic fungi, or scantily clad mothers and -- much to their dismay and sexual displeasure -- found me.

By the way, I love that some guy was searching "bohemian milf". That must be a pretty niche segment, no? This isn't professional financial advice or anything, but if you've got extra money lying around, my statistics strongly hint that the milf market is booming. On second thought, it might just be one person. And if it's the same person from Argentina, you, sir, are either the coolest or grossest guy in your country. High five.